Not Him Too
by KiannaKitter
Summary: Carole finds out about Finn's death. This is based on spoilers for the third episode of season 5; "The Quarterback" and a scene from "Struck by Lightning".


It was just a normal day. A Thursday like any other. Until it wasn't.

* * *

Burt was at the garage working late and she was waiting for Finn to come home so they could share a nice dinner, before she had to leave for the night shift at the hospital. She worried about her son. He had been lost since he graduated, had come back from the army utterly defeated but ever since Mr. Schuester had taken him on as his assistant at the school things had been looking up for Finn.

He was happier, he had finally found his calling. He wanted to be a teacher and Carole was so proud of him. She looked at the clock as she prepared dinner, just some homemade pizza, Finn's favorite and saw that it read 3:17 pm, which meant Glee Club would be over soon and Finn would be on his way home. She smiled as she spread out the pizza dough on the table but was suddenly startled by a loud rumble, followed by a clash and then a flash outside the window. She jumped slightly and only moments later the rain was coming down in buckets. _Typical Ohio weather_, she thought as she continued cooking.

It wasn't until much later when the pizza's were in the oven and it had gotten darker out that she got a creeping feeling that something was wrong. Where was Finn? He should have been home by now. And he always called when he was late, so she wouldn't worry.

As the delicious smell of pizza filled the air she walked to the window looking out at the gray skies and listened to the rain. She bit her lip nervously. What was this uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach and why did it seem so familiar? _Stop it_, she thought. _You are being silly_. _Just call him_.

She picked up her phone, went to her contacts and swiped her finger gently over the picture of Finn in his football uniform next to Kurt, also dressed in football gear. She took a moment to just look at them...to look at Finn who had his arm around Kurt. Both of them smiling brightly. She had picked this picture because he looked so happy in it. Happy to be with his brother. It was from the one game where Kurt had been the kicker and they won. That was a good memory.

When she had first started dating Burt and then met Kurt she had been unsure whether or not the two of them would work out as brothers. Not because anything was wrong with either of them, but because they were so different. And it had been a bumpy road. The two boys were like night and day and had clashed horribly before they had found an understanding. Some mutual ground to build a relationship on and slowly they had grown to love each other like real brothers would.

She always counted her's and Burt's wedding as the moment where things really turned around. When Finn had stood up and declared them "Furt" and then continued to sing to Kurt and even danced with him in front of everyone, she knew she had done something right with him. That she had brought him up to be a decent human being, not that she ever really doubted. She knew her son was not the brightest, but he did have the kindest soul and deep down he always wanted to do the right thing, sometimes he just lacked the courage. But ever since Glee Club began he had been growing up before her eyes and maturing into a man she was thankful to call her son.

She pressed the picture and put the phone to her ear. It rang. And rang. But no one picked up. She tried again and again, the block of ice in her stomach growing bigger and heavier, until she finally gave in and left a message when it went to voicemail.

"Finn, where are you? School ended three hours ago? Call your mother."

_He is fine_, she told herself. _He probably just forgot his phone somewhere. _

She took a deep breath and went to check on the food, trying to get her mind off things, thinking Finn was in so much trouble when he got home for putting her through this anxiety. But before she could turn off the oven she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. She knew right away that it wasn't Finn because he always just came right in and usually slammed the door, no matter how many times she told him not to do it. The action was always followed by a; "Sorry mom! What's for dinner?", as he entered the kitchen and kissed her on the cheek. It was their ritual. Not today.

She cautiously went to answer the door, finding two police officers on the other side.

_No._ She thought as she looked at the sad faces of the people in front of her. And that was the moment realisation dawned on her. That uneasy feeling she had been having, why it was so familiar. She had felt the exact same way all those years ago when she received the letter informing her of her husbands passing, Finn's father. It was like she had known somewhere deep inside before she even opened it. Just known. She froze in the doorway.

_Oh God, please no._

"Excuse me Ma'am, are you Carole Hudson-Hummel?" One of them asked.

_This is not about him. _She told herself._ Not about my Finn, this is just some routine police door to door thing. I know it is. It has to be. _But deep down she knew better.

"Yes", she said, barely above a whisper.

_Don't say his name, don't say his name. I don't want to hear it, I can't..._

"Do you have a son named Finn?" The officer continued.

"_No." _She wanted to say. _"No, it's not me you want. You have the wrong house." _But she couldn't.

"Yes".

The officers looked at each other like they were silently debating which one of them should tell her what they had come to tell her.

_Tell me he's alive. Please. _

"I am sorry Ma'am, but your son passed away this afternoon."

And there is was. The worst news a mother could get. Carole shut down. When the officers got no response they continued talking, trying to tell her what had happened, something about lightning, but she couldn't comprehend it. Their voices sounded far away. Without warning she slammed the door in their faces and took off down the hall, towards the phone. She dialed the number she knew by heart. Got the voicemail again.

"Hi, this is Finn, I can't pick up right now, but leave a message or ya know, whatever." **Beeeeep**.

"Finn! I need you to come home right now! This isn't funny!" **Beeeeep**. She called again.

_This was just a joke, they had made a mistake! _

"Hi, this is Finn, I can't pick up right now, but leave a message or ya know, whatever." **Beeeeep**.

She screamed into the phone, tears starting to run down her face.

"FINN! There's cops outside the house telling me you're dead. I need you to come home, I need to talk to you. Finn, please!"** Beeeeep.**

_This can't be happening! _She called again.

"Hi, this is Finn, I can't pick up right now, but leave a message or ya know, whatever." **Beeeeep**.

"Answer your phone, baby! I need you to answer your phone!" **Beeeeep**. She slipped to the floor clutching the phone to her chest, struggling to breathe. And kept calling, leaving a million messages that she knew she would never get an answer to, listening to his voice on the other end, a voice she would never hear again. Somewhere in her subconscious mind she knew this was real, but she couldn't accept it.

_Denial, denial, denial, denial._

"Hi, this is Finn, I can't pick up right now, but leave a message or ya know, whatever." **Beeeeep**.

"Finn...", was all she got out in a broken whimper this time before the final beeeep, as the phone slipped through her hands and she curled up in a ball on the floor; crying, screaming and kicking in hysterics. Everything hurt. Everything. In the kitchen the smoke alarm was going off, but it didn't register.

_No. Not my Finn, not my baby boy!_

Memories flashed before her eyes. The first time she heard his heartbeat on the monitor, the first time she finally saw him after nine months of waiting, his first words, his first steps, his first birthday and Christmas, him playing the drums until her head hurt, him singing in the shower, him dancing around on that stage with his friends looking so at home, the first time she watched him with Rachel and she knew her boy had fallen hard, when he came home from the army and New York and cried in her arms, the look on his face when he told her he had finally figured out what he wanted to do with his life. The last thing he said to her this morning before he left: "I love you, mom."

_I love you, too._

Her vision swam and it all blurred together. The cruelty that life had bestowed upon her was unbearable. First her husband, now her son. And all she could think as she lay there was: _Not him too, not him too, not him too! Please._ But the harsh reality was crashing down on her now and she knew the truth. Finn was gone and he wasn't coming back. The realisation was like staring into an abyss of despair and the loss overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes and welcomed the blackness as she passed out.

* * *

It was just a normal day. A Thursday like any other. Until it wasn't. And nothing would ever be the same.

* * *

**AN: I'm sorry. I had a dream last night or more accurately a nightmare, it was basically the scene from Struck By Lightning where Carson's mother finds out he is dead, only in my dream is was Carole finding out about Finn dying. I had to write it down. RIP Finn/Cory.**


End file.
